I was born and raised in Dundee, Michigan -- the daughter of Jack and Mary Lou Cooley. I have to tell you about my mother. God has quite an ally in her. When I was 12, I had a grand mal seizure and was hospitalized for two weeks near death. The first week I was in a coma with a 105 temperature. The Godly women of the church prayer chain bombarded the throne of grace with requests to spare my life. The second week I awoke, but was paralyzed on my right side. It was then that my mother asked God to either take me or send me back whole. She told the Lord that, like Hannah and her Samuel, if I was given back to her whole, she would raise me for the Lord and dedicate my life to His service. (Gosh mom, I was about to turn thirteen, a teenager! This "dedication to God stuff" could really cramp my style!)

I was given back complete and whole and less than two years after "my dedication," I was born into the family of God on July 14, 1972.

The "fishers of men" had quite a time reeling this one in though. I had heard the Gospel message at church every Sunday, in both Sunday School and in sermon. However it wasn't until I attended a Huron Valley Youth for Christ rally at Crisler Arena in Ann Arbor, Michigan where I heard David Wilkerson and Nicky Cruz (of The Cross and the Switchblade fame) give their testimonies that God began a work in my heart. Within three months after that rally, I was in the back seat of my Methodist Youth Fellowship Leader's (Ruth McCully's) station wagon on the way home from an UMYF "outing" (a Good News Circle Concert given in St. Mary's Park in Monroe) that the Holy Spirit began to tug at the very inner most depths of by being. As the cassette played over the radio, the Gaither tune "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus ,there's just something about that name," I, unknown to all other occupants of the car, gave my heart in a silent prayer to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.

My teen years were not a cakewalk - I shutter to think of where I might be if God had not kept his hand on my life due to my youthful commitment and my mother's fervent prayers! Although a good student, I ended up getting pregnant, getting married and quitting school at age 16. (It's a long story.) Then, when only married a month, I lost the baby. A beautiful little boy, named Timothy James. I was once again brought to my knees and both my new husband and I found our way back to the cross of mercy and into the fellowship of a Bible believing church family in another town. My home town church (DUMC) kept us in their prayers.

It was a good marriage, to a good and honest, hard-working man, but little did we know how the next thirteen years would test us. I was to get pregnant 8 more times. Our second son, Daniel Lee, died at age 14 days. Right while I was on my knees before God pleading for his life - the phone rang. It was a shaking like none other. When I lost our third son, Aaron John, and was told that it would be impossible for me to get pregnant again, it broke our marriage in two.

Hind sight is always 20/20. If I'd known then what I know now, things might have been different. However, back then there were no support groups for grieving parents. There were no special helps for pastors counseling grieving parents. There was no financial assistance for huge hospital bills. There still is not even a name in English to describe parents who lose a child.

I needed to move on and reach out. I wanted to go to school or go to work. I had a need to give to others. My husband was feeling helpless and out of control and wanted nothing more than to keep me (all he had left) safe and secure at home. Unable to get help from other believers -- who were still asking us to examine the "sin in our lives" (the reason our children died) and unable to articulate our true needs and fears to each other, we were divorced. I left that church.

Reeling from the breaking of my vows, from failure as a Christian, failure as a wife, and failure as a mother, I was shaken to the core. I had no marketable skills. No education. No job. No place to live. No where to look -- but up.

It was then that I did a complete about face. As rumors filled my former church, I rededicated my life to God. Told Him I'd like to become a teacher. And I'd dedicate the rest of my life to helping other people's children. I didn't care if I grew old alone - I'd pour all of my energy into my music and my work. A constant and stable Godly presence in my life had been many caring teachers. I wanted to give back in their honor.

I enrolled in college. I lived in a room in an older woman's home. I worked three part-time jobs. Things were tight and I was never so tired in my life.

Yet, I excelled at the university. I was given scholarships and campus jobs and the opportunity to be a part of an elite singing group that went on tour in Europe. It was after my first year in college, after we'd taken the European tour, that I got a better look at one of the members in my college choir.

It was then that René became my best friend and life partner. We were married on Christmas break in 1989. Then came graduate school. (Doesn't God have a sense of humor? He took a high school drop out and made sure she became a teacher!)

My first ministry was to the developmentally disabled. I worked my way through college taking care of developmentally disabled adults in group homes.

My husband and I learned Spanish and our wildest adventure was going to Nicaragua during the revolution to smuggle music supplies to a fellow music teacher and friend in Managua! (Yes, my mother was still praying for us -that's why we're alive today!)

Then once certified as a teacher, my husband and I went to Korea for a year to teach conversational English.

I was in my 30s! The time came to settle down a little, so we did. Our love for each other and love for music only grew with time.

Little did we know that God was not done with us yet and how much we would need our new family of faith! We received our graduate degrees and returned to our roots and returned to our home town church. (I think my mother recovered from two heart attacks just to live to see the day, I'd be back home in church!)

Then while I was substitute teaching as a band director, while I was leaving the school parking lot I was hit by someone who ran a stop sign near a school! It totaled me and our car.

I ruptured two vertebrae and also damaged my shoulders, arms, wrists and hands. The pain in my back, legs, and arms was excruciating. I could not take care of myself, even my most basic needs for months. I was told by my doctors that even after surgery, I would never be able to play the piano, conduct a choir, or stand still for the hour needed to be part of even a choir performance. I was told that my days as a musician were over. After two years of pain, I tried to play the piano and ended up with a paralyzed hand.

It was at this time that my husband and I also tried to adopt a child. We adopted a daughter and the day the adoption was to be final, the unwed, 17-year-old, high school dropout, homeless mother came with a social worker and took our daughter to the streets. Our only knowledge of her came as a phone call two months later when a child protection worker called us by mistake trying to locate our daughter to investigate a complaint about her care! Our hearts broke and our church family surrounded us with comfort and prayers.

Even though we had wonderful believers in our lives, depression and weight gain were my daily companions.

Okay God, plan A was to be a good kid and make my parents proud - but I blew that one.

Plan B was to be a good mother, that was now impossible too.

Plan C was to be a teacher, musician, and adoptive mother - that was impossible too!

I just didn't get it. I thought once you served the Lord faithfully in a good church under Godly leadership life was suppose to be good.

When I finally became ambulatory, I took a job teaching incredibly wonderful but damaged young men at a residential treatment facility in a specialized sex-offender treatment program. How God used my students to teach me and bring healing to my wounded spirit! I changed and grew more than they ever did. I really needed to get my inner spiritual life together before my husband and I could ever be in music ministry. As my students would say - I had "issues."

The truth is, we are broken people in a fallen world. It was at this time that I discovered what an awesome God I served and finally appropriated the benefits of the cross.

God used my incapacity to show me his sufficiency. He used my brokenness to show me his strength. He used my damaged life to show me his mercy, the power of his resurrection and his ability to restore!

It came down to one question: Either Jesus is who he said he was or he is not. If he was not, then I've got more problems than my physical pain and broken heart. But if he is who he said he was then my entire life is under his blood and -- There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1&2)

I'm free!

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation. (II Cor. 5: 17&18)

I'm new!

My relationships with everything from my faith and family to food are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. And . . .

"He was wounded for our transgression, he was bruised for our iniquities and the chastisement of our peace was upon him and by his stripes we are healed!"

I've been redeemed!

He not only died for me to be restored to God and gain eternal life BUT, but suffered specific abuses that the old nature - iniquity - could have no power over me. He not only died, but he was tormented that I might have peace! He was whipped and bled that my body might find healing!

I was ready to finally stand and proclaim in faith - I am redeemed!

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13 & 14)

Now my husband and I are pressing forward in the strength of the Lord. The CD is part of that obedience to God's prompting.

One good thing about suffering is that it either makes you bitter or better. Basically, it made me better and gave me a reason to press into God and seek his face, and thereby became the source of many songs. God restored my soul and my health.

This CD called "Caring and Sharing" is my attempt to use my suffering to alleviate the suffering of others. These "songs in the night" are being sold to you in order to provide income to a ministry that feeds the needy. For I too was studying Matthew 25 in my private devotions and was moved with compassion at the need of the hungry in my community and knew that it was the will of God for me to dedicate these songs to this ministry.

Please continue to keep both my husband and I and the music ministry in your prayers, for as the Song of the Lord continues so does our journey.

God is good.

My prayer for you : For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Ephesians 3:14-21